I had always believed love was supposed to be gentle, nurturing, and comforting. But from the moment I married, I was thrust into a nightmare I couldn’t escape. At first, it was small things—disagreements that escalated, sharp words cutting deeper than I thought possible. He would apologize afterward, promising never to hurt me again. I wanted to believe him. But the cycle continued.
It was the subtle control at first—the way he monitored my calls, insisted on knowing where I was at all times, and criticized my every move. At first, I thought I was just being overly sensitive, but soon, the fear crept in. Every day, I was walking on eggshells, afraid of triggering his anger. I couldn’t make a move without him questioning it. And every time he raised his voice, my heart would race, my body stiffening, bracing for impact.
Then it got worse. The first time he hit me, it felt like my world shattered. I couldn’t comprehend how the man I loved, the father of my children, could cause me so much pain. He said it was my fault—provoking him, making him angry. I believed him. The bruises on my body healed, but the emotional scars were much deeper.
The next few months were hell. Each day, I would hide my tears behind forced smiles. I couldn’t tell anyone. I was ashamed. I thought people would blame me, or worse, pity me. And so, I endured in silence, hoping the violence would stop. It never did. He would hurt me, then cry, beg for forgiveness, and I would forgive him, thinking things would change. But the pattern repeated itself.
The 42 year old Jessica Miyati from Singila,kakamega county narrates the ordeal she has passed through in her love life which now has made her ‘regular customer’ to medical facilities seeking aid from injuries caused by her abusive husband.
” I met Moses Muyaka with high hopes in getting genuine love from him as he promised sadly did I know that my approval to be his wife would turn into this much torture,” Jessica tells Kurunzi News.
The wounds in her right arm evidently potrays the pain that she has been going through with no one to come to her rescue from this abusive relationship.
The mother of two shares that the abuse has been going on for awhile and her quest to have a happy marriage left the table since the day she gave birth to her second child.
“One night he came home while drunk and started beating me because there was no food in the house while I was carrying a small child. The beating became so intense that he pushed me towards the fire and I had to save the baby falling with my elbow in the fire.”
Even with the burns, Jessica Miyati is expected by her husband Moses Muyaka to provide for the family failure to which she faces the wrath of her drunkard husband which she says has turned to be a traumatic ordeal to her. Her quest to find help from the authorities have been fruitless following numerous threats from her husband.
According to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics 2022 report on the scope of gender-based violence (GBV) in Kenya. The report found that: More than 40% of women between the ages of 15 and 49 have experienced physical violence.
14% of women between the ages of 15 and 49 have experienced sexual violence.
Jessica is just the tip of the iceberg as most victims fear to speak out due to fear of more mistreatment or worse but for her, enough was enough.
It was only after a particularly violent episode, when I was barely able to move, that I realized I couldn’t live like this anymore. I finally reached out for help—no longer willing to be a prisoner in my own home.
The road to healing has been long, and it’s not over, but I am free. Free to reclaim my life, my dignity, and my future. And I hope that my story will inspire others to break the silence. No one should have to endure this kind of pain, and we can all make the choice to live without fear.
