Afraid to pee in presence of others? This article will help you overcome paruresis

When I was a young girl, probably round five years, I had this problem of not peeing when someone is around or when I’m in the process of peeing and then I spot someone coming I would just stop instantly.

Like, this is an embarrassing situation to share right? But then, how will we overcome problems if we are not courageous enough to share and probably help someone who has the same issue but shies from sharing and get help.

I overcame this problem after I graduated from primary school, as I went to boarding for my high school and had to overcome this difficulty out of necessity and also because I told myself there had to be a solution to every problem.

Every problem on this earth does have a solution; we just need to find it.

I asked myself tough questions. Am I afraid to pee when people are around because I am embarrassed that I might be the only human that passes out waste or is it because I am scared of people seeing my waste or junk?

That’s where my soul searching journey started.

I gathered a few points, here and there, through research from the people who were facing the same problem and some who overcame it and from some doctors.

But, before I give you the tips, note that this problem actually has a name.

It’s called paruresis and it’s defined in the dictionary as a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the real or imaginary presence of others, such as in public toilets.

Here are some few ways to over come paruresis:

  1. When you find that you are pee shy …you can start spelling the word on top of the urinal from backwards just to distract your mind
  2. Opt to live in a dorm or barracks as this will help you overcome the shyness out of necessity
  3. Trust in your unconscious mind: The unconscious mind is responsible for things like blinking, erections, salivation so you should train yourself to leave this worries to the part of you that knows how to handle it best; your unconscious mind.
  4. Rehearse success: For example, when you are using the home toilet imagine that you are in a public restroom, feeling relaxed. This will really help and prepare you for using one for real
  5. Get someone close to you to be close to you when you are peeing. This will help you practice, remember practice makes perfect.
  6. Book for a psychotherapy to help you deal with the here and now and learn problem solving
  7. Don’t give up, you will overcome it:  I overcame it, other people that I know of have overcome it and so will you. Just set your mind to it.

So, you should not be embarrassed of your situation, rather shift the energy to trying to solve the problem.

Because sharing is caring, please share with your friends, and don’t forget to leave a comment!


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